Sunday, September 27, 2009

Oooh my!

[this apparently posted 4 times. Interesting.]

So I've been looking at modern interiors again and dreaming about my future house and all that jazz. And my goodness. I want to live in places like this SO badly. Like it's insane. If ever I end up getting an apartment I want it to look like this.

Click hur

Or something with big windows and that color scheme. I don't know why I like modern looks like this. They just seem so well put together and such. And plus I'm a sucker for windows apparently. See?

This and this 'un and this one.

I'm crazy, I know. But good golly.

I want that. So badly.

Well. I can wait, but it'd be nice.

I seriously wish we could paint the walls in the dorms. I would make mine look something like that. If I had a room to myself of course.

I think I'll still try and be an RA so I can live on campus...and get paid for it. If I get it, great, if I don't get it, great. There are pros to both situations in my opinion.

Anywho. On to more important things. I've got to read a chapter in Acts, get some bible homework done, write a paper for club, and a few other things that aren't as important as those listed.

I hope everyone has a great week!

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Is bipolar.

And I think it's having an effect on me. For srs. Like, okay, you know how yesterday I was in the eh mood and didn't want to do anything or see anyone? Well today it was hot outside and I'm just in a good ol happy giggly mood again. I'm tired, but I'm happy again.

I can't do crazy weather changes like this.

That's a lie.

Yes I can.

But under stress no.

I'm still going to live in Texas though.

I don't know what I would do if I didn't.

Oh my goodness I'm so hyper.

This is one of those times I wish I had a horse because it's so gorgeous outside and riding would just be so much fun.

I want a dog. I want to take my dog to a park and play fetch with him today.


I want a border collie.
Or just a collie.

But those are herding dogs and to keep them sane they need to do what they instinctively do.

But I seriously can't wait to get a house/appt. cause I really want a dog and I don't think my mom or dad will let me...because if I come home for Christmas I'ma have to bring my dog with me if I get one.

So maybe I'll just take my cat.
But she doesn't play fetch.
And she's already potty trained and. Yeah.


I'm so hyper! Lol.

Ahaha I'm. Going to go do something. I don't know what.

Maybe work out or something.

Okay. This blog entry is CRAZY LONG.

I'll shut up now.


Friday, September 25, 2009

Just One of Those Moods

Where you just kind of want to lock yourself away in your room with a cup of hot tea, a papasan chair, and a collection of pillows and chill with misery. I had a "I don't want to be here..." moment again today. I skipped my 3 o clock even though I knew we had a quiz. I just curled up in bed and slept the afternoon away.

But I'm not mad.

Or sad.

Or happy.

I'm just neutral I guess.

I think the extroversial part of me is screaming to get out at this moment.

Did I ever explain that I was a solitary extrovert? I think I might have in one blog, but who has time to go through all of them? Anywho, while I prefer to be alone, I can still have a great time when I'm with other people and sometimes I do want to be around people.

Right now is one of those times.

I miss how in McD the lot of us lived in the same building on the same floor. This year we're separated. And I'm in club. And while yes, these 6 weeks do hinder our friendship, I'm still trying to keep it afloat.

I kinda don't know what to think anymore.

I do know, for a fact, that I need to start talking to God more because I know he'll have the answers.

I want to dance barefoot.
I want to go draw for myself.
I want to draw for other people.
I want to have my house.
I want my cat, Sadie.
I want to live.
I want to be a stay at home mom.
I want to have an amazing husband.
I want to learn how to have more patience.
I want college to be over with and already have my degree.
I want a horse.
I want to go shopping and get an entirely new wardrobe.
I want to be myself.
I want to understand why it is I feel this negative...

I want to be happy again.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Oh my...

I just sneezed.

And I sneezed loudly.

I mean, it was a legit sneeze.

I mean it...was like this



Just like that.

I sneeze sooo loudly.

It was almost like I screamed it too.


I thought that you should know that.

Sneezing is pretty interesting.

Don't you think?

And sometimes you make the funniest faces when you sneeze.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

And you don't even know yet.

Random title. Has nothing to do with the content of this blog, lol. It's from the song I'm listening to. Anywho. I've got 55 minutes until work is over with so I decided I'd write a little blog before I left.

The night of suicide went well. My adrenaline helped keep my 2 hours of sleep keep working for 24 hours. I obviously made it through or I wouldn't be typing at this point. Monday started the first day of 6 weeks of pledging. So far it has been going awesomely! I have never had so much fun. Well, okay yes I have, this is the second most fun, harharhar. There have been a few ups and downs to it though. We (as a pledge class) have gotten in trouble a number of times. Well...maybe not "in trouble," but made aware that some of us aren't taking it as seriously as we should. Of course I'm trying, but then again I know I'm not trying as hard as I could be and I do take the blame for that. So me, being me, hated disappointing the officers of the club and is therefore beating herself up mentally and trying to fix the problem.

I can't give you details of pledging, so if you're curious, just remember...Jesus is cuter! Haha, but really though, if you can, please try and refrain from asking detailed pledging questions (we called out on that). But nevertheless, I'm having a great time.

And remember the great mood I wrote about the other day? Well I'm still happy, I'm just exhausted so I look like a zombie lol.

AndandandandAND what is with this cold WEATHER. This is ridiculous. Dear Texas, please stop being bipolar. We have medicines for that!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Good Morning!

Oh goodness where to beGIN! This morning I'm just in a happy, smiley, upbeat mood. I don't know what it is, but I LIKE IT! Maybe it's just cute songs like this! Or this song! I know, I know. I'm weird. I'm from the city, in love with the rural side of life, and I like songs like these! I'm a vintagey retro mutt. But you know what? God made me that way and I have never felt so happy to be me!

Today begins the 6 weeks of pledging. I'm kinda excited, but the con is that I'm going to be spending lots of time with them and not my original gang, BUT FEAR NOT WIVES. Every ounce of free time I have will be spent with either talking with you or simply being in your presence :D

Aahh! I love being happy. It puts me in a cleaning mood, a bouncy mood, a dancey mood, I just hope that my happiness will rub off on the people I encounter because where's the fun of enjoying a good day if there aren't other people to enjoy it with you?

Oh goodness I hope everyone has a good day today.

Can you tell I'm giddy?

I don't know why!

Also, if you haven't seen the movie 500 Days of Summer go see it RIGHT NOW. It is definitely worth spending the money it takes to see in a movie in theatres!

I hope this good energy doesn't wear off. I love being happy!

I probably sound crazy. Hmm, now I'm suddenly tired. Which makes me laugh. I'm still happy though.

Eek :]!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I sleep too much

No, really. I do. My future husband is going to have to put up with me going to bed before 11 every night. I really don't know why I'm tired all the time. I don't think it's lack of sleep, though.


In about 30 minutes (from this sentence) I've gotta mosey on over to Figure Drawing. I adore that class. Mainly because I'm learning how to draw people better (considering I...taught myself how to draw them in the first place). But I have a feeling I'm going to be a bit of a zombie in class today. My eyes are having a hard time staying open. It'll probably be a crappy drawing day too. Normally when I'm this tired my drawings don't turn out as well as they could be because I'm extra lazy and don't want to do anything (except sleep or doodle.)

Speaking of doodles. One day in Fig. Drawin, a friend of mine took a break (well, the whole class had a break, I chose to stay in the room, anywho,) he left and I thought it'd be comical to draw on his sketchbook while he was gone. My scribble spawned into this demon fish...thing holding a trident and stabbing a little fish. And he wore a crown too. So I dubbed him Demon Fish Trident King. Or...Demon Trident Fish King. However you wish. It was quite amusing and apparently DFTK is going to be popping up in random places.

Like here.

In this blog. Complete with a crappy coloring job.
click for largerrrr

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Joy joy joy joy joy holy moley I'm HAPPY

But really tired, but...I'm always tired.


Momkinson reads my blog via e-mail and she google-talked me and told me to start looking for tablets so I might could get one for Christmas this year! ACK. I'm so excited! I want to jump and squeal and have it RIGHT NOW. My current tablet hasn't even made it to age five, but my older sister asked if she could have it when I got a new one and I told her I'd let her have it, but who knows how long it'll survive after age 5. Argh. If this one dies before I get a new one I'll probably...go through withdrawals or something and look lost, confused, sad, and completely incomplete.

But seriously though!

A new tablet!


The Land Before Time

Auugghh I lovelovelove that movie. It brings back the childhood. Last night I was lying in bed going " does that one part go in the movie? MUST. KNOW." So I've decided I would watch it this morning while at work. It's hard to find free movies online nowadays. I'm not technologically advanced. But I have success! It's at some...japanese site. The movie is in English, of course, but everything else is kinda hard to understand.

And for some strange reason my scrolling is being dumbtarded and not working...Along with Google Chrome (which is a browser like Safari or Firefox) which I'm starting to get annoyed with so I'm back to using good ol' Safari.

I'm seriously just making conversation at this point. I think I'll go make another velveeta singles thing. And before you say "Why aren't you working on your animation!?" It's...because I left my tablet back at the dorm.

WHICH. I need a new one by the way. This one I've had for almost 5 years (It'll be 5 on Christmas this year) and the grid inside isn't reading pen pressure very well so blending is kinda being whack because of it. Also the wires are all exposed and stuff and may fray. Arrghh I want a new one that's about the same size as my old one, but man they're expensive...

Anywho. Time to watch baby dinosaurs be all cute and adventurous.

Useless post is useless.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I. Am. A. Self. Taught. Artist.

Minus that one art class I had back in middle school that did give me kind of an encouraged nudge to want to learn more about art. But after that class I taught myself my own techniques, used references, tutorials, and thus created my own style. Now, I suppose tutorials don't quite count as "teach yourself how to do this" but they've certainly helped me get to where I am now and develop this style o' mine.

And I love college, don't get me wrong, but I do wish that I could already have my future home and take time to continue teaching myself...For some reason, at this very moment, right this second, as the clock is ticking. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. In. School. At all. Nope. Nada. I want to be sitting on soft white carpet with a sketchpad in hand, drinking tea, watching the sun set, sketching whatever comes to mind, and not having to worry about a test coming up or an assignment that's due. I just want to draw. For. Myself and improve at my pace. Without a grade. That's how I've done it. Always.

But unfortunately. If I ever want to work for Disney, I have to be "graded."

What do I really want to do with my 2D degree? I want to be a stay-home mom who takes commissions, cleans house, makes meals, raisse a family, draws some more, rides a horse, takes days to go camping and draw wildlife, and praises God for the huge blessing that is my dream life.

But it's just a dream...and the real world sucks major right now. Money is tight. Jobs are hard to come by. The easy life existed back when I was 3 years old and could prop the front door open. Gosh, who knows what life'll be like when I am able to finally get a house (if...I'll be able to get a house) and start a family...

I guess we'll just wait and see. But seriously though. I really don't want to be in school right now...I also want this animation to be done. Mainly because I've told people I've had it done by now...and I'm only half way done.

Okay, okay. I write too much.
Later gators.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Plummeting Self-Esteem

I don't think I've ever felt as weak as I do right now...Today in my Lifetime Wellness class we did bench press reps. Girls has 35 lbs and guys had 80 lbs. The girls before me kept saying how light it was. 35 lbs? No big deal right? I've lifted heavier, but then again, I've also had my lower body to help support me. I only had my arms for this. While the other girls did 30 reps with a metronome, I did a measly 5.

5! Are you kidding me? I probably could have done more, but you had to go up. down. up. down on the beats. And I couldn't. I felt useless. I still feel useless. But honestly, I can't help it. I have 10.2% body fat when the normal for my age and height is 18%-25%. From what I understand is that in order to gain muscle, you have to lose fat. I don't have anything to lose and therefore cannot gain. Say I do get stronger biceps and triceps. I'll look unproportional. I'd need to do wrist curls to get stronger forearm muscles to even it all out.

I'm also aware that I don't eat very healthy...I'll work on that too.

But my goodness. 5!? Why not...10? or 15? But 5? Self-esteem down the drain, man...I'm seriously wanting to cry.

Honestly, a few things I liked about having a room to myself was that I could work out by myself, listen to the kinds of music I love while I work out and get as stinky as I wanted. I would love to have muscle and strength and be a hauss. But with my poor, weak, weightless figure, it's an extreme challenge. I've had people tell me that they wish they had my body type and I've told them I wish I could have theirs and gain a few more lbs. I don't think they quite grasp the concept that it's easier to lose weight than it is to gain with someone like me. I eat. And I eat a lot. My metabolism breaks the food down faster than the normal rate. Do the math.

Okay, enough of Sour Sally...I think it's time I have a little chat with God...

I'm on a roll!

I'm writin' all over the place! And, oh goodness, one of my favorite pieces of music is playing. Here...let's see if I can somehow play it for y'all. It's kind of quiet so I would recommend turning your sound up a bit higher than usual.

Anywho, listening to this song while drinking tea and listening to the sounds of nature is definitely a healthy drug for me. I used to not like tea. Mainly because I didn't drink it enough nor took the time to find a kind I would like. Then an artist I watch on my art site told me to try Earl Grey and Lady Grey. Earl Grey was the easiest to find and it was delicious! So I've learned (to some extent) that you never know if you're going to like something until you try every aspect of it! But good golly I wish I had brought some tea to work...It would truly make my morning even though the sun isn't up yet.

Oh, by the way, as my iTunes is having a shuffle party and stumbled upon a certain song, I made some youtube videos of me working in photoshop! Here is my youtube account so feel free to browse :]

Now, back to more important matters...Like. Gumball machines. How do you know there are bugs getting all up in the little plastic container and making BABIES!? You put 25 cents into a dial and get a gumball. Who knows how sanitary that is. Haha. Oh I could keep writing about nonsense, but I do really want tea! *sigh*

I hope everyone has a Marvelous Monday!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Raining Coffee

Well...not really, but it's raining...and I'm drinking coffee! I used to not drink coffee. I haaaaated the taste. But only just recently did my roommate make a French Vanilla brew. It smelled so enticing, how could I resist? I reached for a mug, poured a lot of creamer in the bottom of my cup, poured in the coffee and watched the dark brown liquid transform into a tan color. I gave it a stir and dumped in a lot of sugar (I really didn't want to taste that coffee part, couldja tell?). I took a sip and was actually surprised at the outcome and managed to burn my tongue. I decided that the best way to really enjoy the flavor was not when it was still steaming hot so I let it cool for a bit and kept getting ready for my day. Eventually it was time for class. I took my cup and took a real sip and it was indeed delicious! And that one sip started my coffee drinking adventure. I've even had to buy my own creamer since I use so much of it to cancel out the coffee, harharhar.

Also, lately my roomie has been feeling pretty under the weather and she stayed at her house last night. As I was about to climb into bed, I felt like I was missing something. My mind was telling me not to get into bed because there's one more thing I need to do before I can sleep and I could not figure it out for the life of me. I've decided that it was because my roomie wasn't there and we generally tell a story or have a brief conversation while we're both in bed right before we head off to sleep and end with a "good night" to each other. Goodness it was pretty hilarious. Then I had a dream that...she was eating my neutrogena face wash and it was all over her mouth and neck and I told her it was really bad for her and she got mad at me. Oh boy...I just have some of the weirdest dreams.

Week 4. Here we come.

Friday, September 11, 2009

You Know You're An Artist When...

it's raining and the thing you're worried about is your sketchbook getting wet.

But my goodness, it's been a while since I've written a blog entry. Why aren't y'all harping on me about this!? I suppose I've been extremely...busy with making petty things my priority. Shame on me, I know. But I can only blame myself, but let's keep our optimistic juices flowing, shall we? So I've survived the third week of school, gracious. Honestly there are some times I wish I didn't take the 5am-9am shift every MWF and naps are certainly a big part of my days. Unfortunately, though, I find myself on the computer more often than napping and I complain about being tired. Ha, I'm so crazy. I'm surprised my body hasn't shut down yet. And I don't think I've let y'all know that I'm actually pledging here at ACU. I've had my iffy moments, but now I'm pretty excited. And I've been told that bid night (which is next Friday) they (being the club you pledge) take you out at 5pm...and don't bring you back until 5 am Saturday morning.

Let's do the math.

I work at 5 am that morning.

I won't be getting back until 5 am the next morning.

Can you say...suicide day?

24 hours with no sleep. I don't know if I can do that. But that's just what I've been told about other girls who are pledging with me. So we'll see what plays out...

Hmm, what's next. Remember the animation I told y'all about? It. Still. Isn't. Done. Ugh. I really need to take a facebook hiatus or something and spend all my time on the thing so I can get it done and work on a Fat Pony animation! (GASP. Fat Pony animation? Why, yes, I did just say that.) I'm probably only half way into the other animation. I know, I know. Long way to go. Especially since I'm doing it all in photoshop. Ah, well. The best way to get something finished is to get it finished, right? I'm going to try and work on the darn thing a little bit every day and'll get done. Ha. I want to get Fat Pony back in business. I've got about 15 ideas so far (I'll get more, I promise) but I want to bring Fat Pony back with the animation (which is only about a minute long, compared to this one which is bloody 5 minutes long. Goodness what did I get myself into).

But enough complaining.

Let's get workin' on the darn thing, shall we? Maybe...after a nap...