Sunday, July 5, 2009

My Ice Cream Is Melting

And I really don't feel like finishing it, but any who, this morning around...8:00 am or so, my family and I left for church and it was rather muggy and damp outside cause it had rained during the night, but it wasn't too hot and there was a rooster crowing off in the distance and it really made me want to go live out in the country. There was actually a 30% chance of rain today and we got a bit of a drizzle, but the weather just seemed really nice this morning. I wish I could have stayed out there the entire morning and picked blackberries in our garden or simply did something outside. I really can't wait to start living (actually, I totally can, if I started to live right now I'd be dead within weeks cause I don't have an income, hurhurhur). I want to wake up in the morning with my cup of tea, watch the sunrise, listen to the birds start their morning song, and walk barefoot in the cool grass.

Part of me is like, "Yes! Let's go to California, get that animation degree and work for Disney in anyway possible!" but then the country side of me replies with, " won't be home." And by home, I mean I won't be in Texas. I really think Texas has some magic power that, once you're there for a while, you'll find yourself back again, whether it be to live there or simply visit. In my case, since I've lived here for so long, Texas will always be my home and I'll always come back to it (Unless He has other plans, then I can't complain).

Today I've been in a really solitary mood, but I'm in a good mood...and kinda tired, but happynevertheless. I haven't really wanted to deal with people. I'm quite content sitting here on my computer talking to people through the computer. Why? *shrugs* I have no idea. I am though, completely ready to go back to school and see everyone. That could be one reason for mysolitariness. I really...didn't have many friends to come home to when school let out for the summer. I mean...there's my bestie who lives like 2 minutes from me who works most of the time, but...the other day she, her sister, and a mutual gay friend of ours, Blake, went with us. Blake is...he's really gay. Really. And I have nothing against gays, let me put that out there, but he has....awful language...and he was cussing this way and that and I was just getting uncomfortable. Then he goes to the extreme to talk about how I'm a virgin and how I never "eye" a guy's lower region and continues to "playfully" harass me. I'm getting fed up so I just simply stare at him and gets a bit creeped out and I simply ask, "Do you know who you're talking to?" and he stupidly responds with "Jesus?" while laughing. Gosh I wanted to slap him, but I kept my cool and ignored him. My bestie isn't a christian either, but she respects that I'm a Christian. Never again will I hang out with her if Blake tags along. So I really think this could be a reason for my solitariness. I just don't want to deal with any more people like that.

Okay. I think, I'm done ranting. Sorry this was so long :|


Veggy Christian said...

I understand everything you just said: the wanting to start living, the wanting to be in the country, the wanting to be home, the liking being alone and yet still looking forward to getting back to school, and the not having many friends to come home to, and the discomfort around non-Christian friends. We really have a lot in common, which is cool. The more we talk the more I realize that.

I find it very sad the way people think it's strange if an adult isn't looking to have sex. My mom, sister and I went to see The Proposal and there's a scene where Sandra Bullock confesses that she hasn't had sex in a year and a half, and at first I didn't realize that was supposed to sound pathetic. That seemed natural, you know, since she isn't married. But I forget sometimes that in our culture, a lack of sex is a sign that your whole life lacks any real fun or excitement at all. It's just so sad that people don't understand the deep meaning that sex has. It's kind of the same way cursing has lost a lot of meaning since cuss words are used so often and flippantly. The difference is of course that cursing has nothing good about it while sex is supposed to be a sacred union between a man and his wife. And it is really uncomfortable to be around people who don't understand why we see it that way and jab at your virginity thinking they're being funny. They don't understand, and it's just so so sad.

Sorry to make such a long comment, but that's been on my mind pretty heavily ever since I saw that movie.

Can you believe how fast summer is going by? At first I was sad to come home and leave ACU, but now that I'm used to being home again and having some down alone time, I'll be sad when summer ends, even though I am looking forward to seeing everyone again and moving in to Sikes. I hope it's fun, and I hope we get the four rooms in a square!

I'm glad your planner is working out. :) Hope you think of something really neat to write in your elephant and whale!

Missing you,

Sketched on a Canvas said...

Oh I don't mind at all! And you made great points. Thanks for commenting :P I saw the proposal too and when Margret said that I was just like "WELL GOOD FOR YOU."

*sigh* It's so hard to watch movies nowadays that don't have cussing or some sex appeal or something. Unless it's a kids movie :/

And yes, summer is going by fast (but slowly at the same time) and I can't wait to go back. I'll miss being around my mom though :/